Artiekitty!
by I am Boo
Summary: Artie wakes up one morning with a few complications, and Fiona doesn’t help. At all. Second chapter is on the way!
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Shrek. This is rated PG-13 for Artie's language. Remember people, I'm not forcing you to read my stories, So if you disapprove of them, then simply don't read them; I'm not trying to start a controversy. I'm sorry that you don't like my stories, Violet Lily 101, but I don't consider my stories as "disgusting hijinks, cheap, graphic softcore , or as a mess, and it's not very polite to say such things. It may be sick-minded, but that isn't a crime. I kind of biffed the ending of my last story, but you know what they say! Endings are the hardest to write! Plus I was up until 3 in the morning writing it...Anyways...There will only be two chapters in this story, and I'll either get it out sometime later today, or tomorrow. This story takes place in the castle of Far Far Away. Enjoy the fic!

Artie really didn't know what to think, except that this was probably Donkey's fault

Artie really didn't know what to think, except that this was probably Donkey's fault.

He had woken up with fuzzy ears. _Fuzzy ears. _And a tail. Unless there was something people weren't telling him about puberty, something was definitely wrong.

Tumbling out of bed on unsteady legs that seemed to want to bend in the wrong direction, Artie crawled to his front door and tried to reach the handle. Apparently he had shrunk as well, because even stretching up on tip-toe wasn't getting him anywhere near the doorknob.

"Fuck," Artie muttered, but it ended up coming out more as a growl. He scratched ineffectively at the door.

"Let me out!"

As if obeying his commanded, the door suddenly swung back, hitting Artie in the nose. Immediately he darted away under the coffee table, tail lashing.

"Artie?" Called out Fiona "Are you in here"

Immediately, bounded out from underneath the table, heading straight for Fiona's legs.

"I didn't know Artie had a cat," Fiona mused, crouching.

Artie hissed swiping a claw in Fiona's direction. "I _am_ the cat."

Except it came out sounding more like 'mrowr'.

Fiona giggled and reached down to scratch gently behind Artie's ears.

"I'm mostly a dog person," she explained, "but you _are_ kind of cute."

Artie promptly bit Fiona's finger, drawing blood. He gained a certain amount of satisfaction watching her yelp and leap back. Unconcerned with the glare he was receiving, Artie calmly began licking his paw. It served Fiona right. He was certainly _not_ cute.

"You're as surly as your owner," Fiona chided, quickly bandaging his bleeding finger with a scrap of cloth.

'No duh,' Artie snorted, ignoring his cousin.

"Well I've got something here that might make you more amiable..."

There was a rustling, and then something red and long and altogether enticing was dangling in front of Artie's face.

He tensed, trying to resist the urge to pounce on the piece of string, but then Fiona made it twitch in the air and Artie just couldn't help himself.

He batted at it. He swiped at it. He tried to gnaw it to death as soon as he got it between his teeth, and when Fiona jerked it out of his mouth he batted at it again.

"Curse you!" Artie cried, almost flipping completely over as the string was flicked just out of his reach. "Just...let it...land..."

The string was suddenly still and Artie pounced, catching it between his two paws and teething it viciously. He shook the now loose string in his mouth and lapped at it a few times in smug victory.

"Hah! I have defeated your string! What do you have to say for yourself now Fi—".

An amused laugh made Artie stop short. He looked up, slowly, and bristled.

_He was in Fiona's lap._

Sputtering, Artie spit out the ragged string end and prepared to leap onto the floor, but he was stopped by a light hand on his back.

Artie growled warningly, but Fiona took no notice and began to pet him, stroking in long lines from the top of his head, to the tip of his tail.

Artie tried really hard not to arch into that hand. Really. He did.

"There now," Fiona crooned, rubbing just underneath Artie's chin in a spot that make Artie almost fall over himself trying to expose more of his neck. "Isn't that nicer?"

"Dammit...you can't just...unnn" Artie's mewls of protest soon turned to a contented purr and his legs folded under him, like they had turned to water.

"Good kitty," Fiona whispered, resuming his stroking Artie's fur until he drifted into an exhausted sleep, curled snugly on Fiona's lap.

"You know what?" Fiona continued, seeing his transformed student slip deeper into sleep, "I think I'll keep you like this a while longer. You're much easier to...handle this way."

Artie-kitty only purred in reply.

Well...the reviews in my other stories have been...interesting. I only wish they were a little nicer though. Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Shrek. I took me a while to get this chapter out since I didn't have any access to the internet. oh well, this is the last chapter. Stories with a million chapters give me a headache. Read and review and I'll love you forever!!

_When Fiona opened her bedroom door to see scraps of toilet paper, the remains of a shredded dress she wore on alternate Tuesdays, and some foam padding ripped from her bed, she was more amused than annoyed._

_Apparently, Artie had found out about his hand in the boy's sudden transformation into a cute little kitten and was taking out his resentment on his furniture._

_Fiona tiptoed around the damage into her room where she was just in time to see Artie pounce on another roll of toilet paper that he'd batted down from its place on the bathroom shelf, and chase the unraveling white trail across the carpet._

_Fiona cleared her throat and Artie froze, looking at her with wide eyes. They stared at each other for a few seconds, Artie's ears twitching, and then Fiona crossed her arms over her chest and gave the kitten a stern look._

_"I see you found a way to amuse yourself while I was gone," she drawled, nudging a shredded piece of couch with her high-heels._

_Artie only licked his paws nonchalantly and begun to wash his face as if he'd done nothing wrong. In fact, after a few more combings over his ears, Artie calmly walked over to the bed and began shredding it again._

_See? His satisfied purr seemed to suggest, I'm not even a bit ashamed of myself._

_Fiona sighed and then leaned down to scoop Artie into her arms. Artie yowled at her and swiped a bit with his claws, but Fiona only avoided the swipes and placed Artie in his carrier, closing the door before he could escape._

_Ignoring the pitiful mews, Fiona began the task of cleaning up her room. After everything was put away, and her bed was put back together with duct tape, Fiona went to lie down on her bed and catch up on her reading._

_However, he kept on hearing Artie's cries from his carrier and the almost frantic pawing at the bars, and it was ruining her appreciation of her book. So Fiona let Artie out of his carrier and the kitten zoomed off to go sulk in a corner somewhere. Hopefully he would leave the curtains alone this time, Fiona thought, heading back to the bedroom and opening his book again._

_A little while later, Artie poked his nose into Fiona's room. The red-haired princess didn't look up, although she stopped flicking pages. When Artie jumped up on the farthest corner of Fiona's bed, he put down the book and watched him test the softness of the mattress with his paws for a while._

_Then Fiona put out a hand and let Artie sniff it warily. An apologetic lick landed on Fiona's finger and Fiona immediately turned his hand over and began to scratch behind Artie's ears. Artie gave a satisfied mwrr and started purring, and Fiona knew she was being manipulated beyond all comprehension._

_But when the furry bundle curled up on her chest and went to sleep, she kind of thought it was worth it. _

Well...you never do get to see if Artie ever turns back into a human, but ha! I'm to lazy to think of an ending so you guys will just have to use your imagination. Yeah..I know my stories suck, but I'm trying to improve. D


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